you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
