Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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