wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
