Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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