I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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