I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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