plz talk dirty to me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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