the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
