Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
