When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
