have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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