Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize