So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
