There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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