All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
