Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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