Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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