I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
