she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
