when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
