This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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