OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
