So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
