My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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