Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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