So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
