I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
