really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
