And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
