Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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