Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
