i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
