try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
