Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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