i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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