VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
