normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
