oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
