That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I understand Curling. That high.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize