U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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