covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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