Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
