he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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