you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
