Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
