She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
