i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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