is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
