im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
