Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
