I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
