why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize