even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
