My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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