His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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