Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
