that's an acceptable place to lick
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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